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D: You know these days there are magazines ranking the most beautiful, the sexiest, the most likely to make a joke about Paris, but what do these lists really mean. To find out we thought we ask one of maxim's hot 100 sexy girls Kate Walsh.
D: Yeah, oh wow not looking too shabby.
K: i do what i can.
D:yeah
K:yeah
D: aiy aiy aiy, look at that, so uh first of all it's a big deal maxim and uh what number are you.
K: I'm 52 David
D: alright you look great
K: i am number 52 on maxims hot 100 list. Yup every young girls dream right to be featured in a magazine with other hot Hollywood babes.
D: sure you're right
K: wrong. unless you think it is every young girls dream to be objectified by a machauvinistic magazine driven by a patriarchal Freudian society
D: i don't know....i don't know
K: do you
D: i don't know what that means
K: yeah, men stare at our boobs Dave.
D: yeah and that's uh that's bad. That's bad, that's uncool.
K: it has gotta stop so i say enough ladies, women of America band together, it is time to take a stand. Yeah. No longer will we let men determine our self worth, no longer will we let men turn woman against woman by ranking us on a list. What is the number 52 even based on it is completely arbitrary. I mean look at the top 10, number 1 lindsay lohan, she's in rehab, that's hot wooo yeah. Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johannson, ok fine i get that, they are beautiful they are hot young women alright, but two evas, maybe i should change my name to eva, eva walsh woo how bout that, is that hot, whatever, it is a typical top 10, so you're selling magazines that's fine, slut sells i get it.
D: well i dont know if they are all sluts there Kate.
K: ya know what shut it, here's what i don't get, number 29 sarah silverman, number 29.
D: she's pretty
K: guess what i can say poop and vagina too, i play a vagina doctor on tv, for 3 seasons all i talked about was vaginas, i lived, breathed, sleep vaginas, and i talk about poop too all day long, ya know what i call it a stool.
D: honey i was getting a rod for a second but then you talked about poop and it stopped. i am sorry yes you talk about stool.
K: yeah and does that bump me up to number 29 and ya know what don't even get me started on number 50. miss maxim, woo what a shock, miss maxim made the maxim 100 list, she is nobody she doesn't even get a name, it's insane, i mean how is she hotter than me?
D: i don't know
K: i mean she is honestly just a skank they picked out of the rest of the skanks to be this years money shot.
D: ok woah woah woah, well that seems a little bit harsh, but i get your point.
K: harsh really is it David? number 39 Rachel Bilson from the OC, i mean she is not even on tv anymore, am i crazy?
D: No i think that show was cancelled
K: exactly, and i have a spin off, a spin off, i have a whole new show created all around me, me me me me me me me, ya know what actually i am on 2 shows, i mean if you count them. so whatever ya know rachel bilson can take that number 39 and shove it up her perky little ass.
D: hey what happened to women banding together.
K: ya know what fuck women David, fuck women. i deserve, i deserve to be in the top 20, or at least ya know the top 40. i don't know.
D: well
K: ya know what this is what you want *rips open top*, how is this for hot, how's this for hot maxim, is this hot, i am on fire, this is what 52 gets you, 52, 52.
D: she is suffering from exhaustion. Kate Walsh everybody let me go look.
*commercial break*
D: Thanks for coming, and Kate you are always uh top 70 in my book.
K: fuck you.
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non me ne vogliate...